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Apr. 16th, 2017 01:55 pm
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I just want to give up and be the darkest star in the sky.
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Looking back...
Ever since I was born, I am always being controlled by people around me. "You shouldn't do this" and "You shouldn't to that" are the words I always, always hear. My world always crumbles whenever I hear those words. It is as if my freedom was stolen away from me. It is as if, I don't have the rights to decide for myself. Not even once. Ever since I got my college diploma, I thought that maybe, just maybe, they would let me do as I pleases. Then I realized that it will be forever be a "maybe". God knows how much I hate the word "maybe". It doesn't give any assurance unlike "Yes" and "No". I will always, always be a puppet being controlled by his puppeteer. I will always, always be a person being tied to a chain with no chance of being released. I will always, always be an eagle with wings being shot down so I wouldn't be able to fly up in the sky.
Being in a situation like that, I thought that it will be better if I just end my life. It sucks, I know. I always have this suicidal tendencies but I just can't do it. In the end, I'm just a coward person being unable to do what he pleases. In the end, I'm still the old me.

To those people who gave me hope, to those people who brought me even the slightest joy known to man, those to people who brought smile to my face, to people who made me strong despite it all, a big big thanks to you. Funny how people I haven't met in real life have made a huge impact in my life. Thank you for always being there. I couldn't ask for more but here's to people who are struggling in life just like me. No matter how many light years it will take, continue to live chasing for your dreams. Be the person you are and have the courage to face even the darkest hours of your life. Live.

turbulence

Dec. 4th, 2016 06:56 pm
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Break the chains
That bind you
From being the person you wanted to be
Release the anger
That you locked away in your body
Let your blood flow
Through your veins
And across the universe
Let the world hears your scream
As you release the pain in agony

lol

Apr. 15th, 2015 08:41 pm
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Then I suddenly realized that, the acquaintances you've made in college are just bunch of idk.
I just don't feel like befriending them.

My personality just don't fit them. I'm an arrogant, self-centered kid who loves space and quiet time away from noisy people.

..

Nov. 20th, 2014 08:08 pm
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Time to shut myself off from the world once again.

confusion

Oct. 5th, 2014 08:46 pm
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There's something wrong with me. Bothersome.

So should I start from the scratch? Bothersome.

Don't know. Everything is bothersome.
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Fine. I'm done with you, and with everyone else.

I won't give a single care about anything anymore. It is useless. My efforts are useless.

That's it. Farewell.
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Why do you have to be like that?
I'm not blaming you or something...it's just that. Dude, we're just joking about it and you took it seriously. Like, what the hell is your problem bro?
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"Maybe".

The word I don't want to hear, the word I despise, the word I forgotten to use for a long time.
It doesn't mean a thing anyway.

"Maybe". The word that breaks the equilibrium between "Yes" and "No"

"Maybe". The reason why there are uncertainties in this world.

"Maybe". It lies between the truth and the lies.

However, I'm just denying those facts that made uncertainties in my life. Maybe.

In fact, I do live in this world between "Yes" and "No". Maybe
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Don't be fooled by your emotions. Maybe the gods are just toying with your feelings and in the end, you'll just get hurt. Once triggered, there will be no means of turning everything back to it's old self.
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It's been a while...and this post is quite angsty. XD

I don't know but my rebellious phase came back. I thought, I'm over it but I guess not.
It feels like I'm going to break the equilibrium if I don't break something.

My misanthrope attitude is coming back. I hate people's guts, i even hate myself for feeling that way. Whatever, come what may.
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Title: Napes are better
Character/s: Ryutaro X OC, Yamada Ryosuke
Author’s Note: Forgive my grammar errors and blame my teddy for that.


Fireworks display. This is probably the loveliest part in a festival. This night of the year, no matter how old you are, you are definitely coming and have fun with your friends’ company. And it’s no different even for a cold-hearted boy- Ryutaro.

Ryutaro was described as a cold-hearted yet good-looking smart student. Girls dreamed of him but it’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t give a damn. For him, girls are vicious creatures.
Despite his cold attitude, he got a lot of guy friends around him but he just considers them as mere acquaintances.

However, that night he seemed like a normal shy boy. He is totally enjoying festival but one thing struck him the most.

“She looks like an angel with her yukata. No.Wait.Ryuu, you should never fell for a girl.” He murmured to himself.

His bestriend, Ryosuke noticed Ryuu’s weird behavior, as if the world is nearing the apocalypse as he saw Ryuu’s eyes were fixed to a certain girl.

“I never thought that you’re interested in her.” Ryosuke approached his friend.
“Huh? What are you saying? Me, interested to a girl? Are you drunk?” Ryuu replied back
“So, you are in the state of being in denial, naaa?!” Ryosuke said in a teasing manner

Ryuu’s face became redder, and it’s the first time you will see his face like that.

“JUST.KEEP.IT.TO.YOURSELF.” he commanded.
“Aye! Sir. Confess now before it’s too late.” Ryosuke told Ryuu as he left him in the corner.

It is nearly eleven pm, time for the fireworks show.
Ryuu grasped Kana’s hand and he dragged her to an empty corner- where no one will see them together.

“What do you need?’ asked by the confused girl.
“It is my first time doing this…” Ryuu’s heart beats faster and faster to the point that he doesn’t know what to say next.

“I like..no, I love..”
“I love you..r..your nape. I love your nape.”

Ryuu felt that stinginess of his left cheek as Kana slapped him with an intense force.

“What?! You pervert! I never thought you’re such a person. Goodbye nape-freak” Kana left the lad in anger.
She was obviously upset. She thought that Ryuu was a gentleman.
But then, she felt something warm that were tangled in her arms. The same hands who grabbed her a while ago. But this time, Ryuu gave her a tight hug.

“Sure I was nervous. It’s my first time confessing to a girl and this is the first time I experienced the thing called “love”. Ryuu told her in a soft and sweet voice that will surely make other girls flail around and fall for him more.

“Let.Me.Go” as Kana tries to let go of her hand against his.

However, Ryuu just tightened his grip more. Making Kana blushed like there’s no tomorrow.
Just when Ryuu forced Kana to face him, she felt her head turns hotter and hotter as he gave her a soft peck in her cheek making her blush more. He hugged her after that and stayed that way until the fireworks suddenly popped out in the sky.

“It‘s beautiful” Kana said in a mesmerized tone.
“You’re even more beautiful” Ryuu whispered to her ear.
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Title: School Bell
Character/s: Inoo X OC
Author’s Note: I don’t use drugs, just meds. Blame my ichiban for flailing.

Its Tuesday again, but this time it is not an ordinary day.
This time of the year, girls are dedicating a lot of time to make chocolates and letters for someone they like.

“Damn. Its Valentines again. I wanna skip class~” said the tall lad.
“Then run away from them. Just like what you did last time” the girl replied back.

Kei is one or if not, the most popular boy in our school. He has the looks, the smarts, and the talents. He is near perfect, I say. So it is not uncommon for him to receive tons of love letters and chocolates from girls.

“Say, Kana. Do you have one for me?” Kei asked in a sweet voice.
“YOU?! No way! I don’t want to waste my precious time for doing something useless.” Kana blurted out while blushing.
“That’s mean of you. I mean we are bestfriends since childhood. At least give me something I can remember.”
“You know? We’re gonna be late for the class.” Kana, avoiding the topic that Kei started.

They ran in the hallway towards their classroom. Luckily the headmaster didn’t saw them or else expect that they’re going through a detention.

The first bell rang so it means that the class will start now. Everyone is glaring at them since Kei’s hand is at Kana’s cheeks while she was sleeping. He never seems to be bothered by those glares and continue his business with his princess. His head moves closer and closer towards Kana’s head as if he wanted to reach for a kiss.

“Kei Inoo. Why are you taking advantage of a girl?” his teacher scolded him.
“You completely misunderstood, Sir! I was trying to wake her up.” The shy boy replied.
Everyone in the class is laughing at him as his head turned into a tomato.

Meanwhile, Kana just woke up, and she received tons of death glares coming from the girls.

“Scary.” She thought. Knowing nothing what has happened earlier.

The bell rang for the second time which means that their break just started. The students bowed in front of their teacher as a respect. Just when the teacher dismissed the class, the girls ran wildly towards Kei leaving Kana in the room.

“Woah. These girls act like a jungle animals” Kei thought to himself.

He knows one place where ha cannot be find.

Kana caught a glimpse of a small paper in her desk.
“Meet me at the rooftop.” It was written. She doesn’t know who gave her this but her feet seems like it was dragging her automatically to the rooftop.

She felt a chill when someone hugged her from behind.

“I love you. I really do.”

She got a Goosebumps when she heard these sweet cheesy words coming from, no other than, Inoo Kei, her childhood friend.
She faced Kei and its kinda odd that there’s only two of them in the rooftop. Usually their troop will hang out with them here during breaks.
However, there’s an awkward silence after Kei told her what he is feeling for her.

“You see, Kei. I really l-….”

She was interrupted by him.

“I know.” The boy replied.

Kana suddenly froze as Kei kissed her. They stayed that way for like ten seconds or so, but for them it is the best ten seconds in their life.
The bell rang for the third time which means that their break is over. They went to their classroom while Kei is holding Kana’s hands. But then, while the teacher is discussing a long boring topic in Physics, Kana fell asleep again.
This time, Kei’s hand was at Kana’s hanging hand.

“Kei Inoo. You do like taking advantages of a girl, huh” their Physics teacher scolded him again.
“If it is Kana, then yeah. But if other girls, NO” Kei proudly told his teacher.

He wasn’t able to receive chocolates and a letter from his beloved but he was able to steal a kiss, a hug and a sweet “YES” from his princess. His Valentines celebration isn’t as bad as what he think.
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Title: A Day in the Zoo
Character/s: Daiki X OC
Author’s Note: I don’t use drugs just meds. Blame my keyboard for grammar errors.

“Hey Chibi, where are we going? You know, we have a class, right? Nozomi questioned him.
“Stop blabbering. Just…never let go of my hand.” Daiki replied back.

Just as Daiki commanded Nozomi stayed quiet the whole time.
She doesn’t know what the hell Daiki is thinking. But, she doesn’t let go of his hands. No, she probably wanted to stay that way. Maybe forever.

“A zoo?! Are you out of your mind?” Nozomi blasted while she pulled her hands against him.

“Hey.What’s wrong with a zoo? I love animals and I know you love it too.”

“No way. You don’t love them. Someone who despised insects will go to a freaking zoo?
Oh Damn….wait. A butterfly!! A butterfly behind you!”

Daiki screamed like a girl that has been harassed. A lot of people stared at them.
Being ashamed of what he has done, he grabbed Nozomi’s hand and ran like there’s no tomorrow.

“What’s with your shout, huh?” Nozomi asked the shy boy
“Just forget about it”
“Don’t wanna” She replied back in a teasing voice
“Look.”

Daiki pressed his lips against hers. Giving her a soft kiss.
Meanwhile, Nozomi’s cheeks became as red as a tomato. Being embarrassed infront of her lover, she gave him a soft punch on his tummy.

“What’s that for” asked the boy
“Nothing. I just suddenly wanted to do it”

They left the zoo hand in hand with a lively smile on their faces.

“Insects aren’t that bad as what I thought” Daiki said to himself.
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Title: Keito’s Glorious Exploration
Genre: Humor
Character: Keito
Author’s Note: I don’t use drugs just meds. Blame my keyboard for grammar errors.



It was a very cold winter night. Apparently, work got cancelled because of the heavy snow.
The nothing-to-do Keito decided to open his laptop to suppress boredom.

“Ooh..What should I..wait. Igot an idea” Keito murmured to himself.

When everyone’s bestfriend, Google loaded completely on the screen, surprisingly, Keito typed his own name. Yes, his name, Okamoto Keito.

“Wow. I never thought I’m this popular outside Japan.” The English boy stated.
Being able to study and stay in England for nearly four years, he sure can comprehend English and apparently he still uses English as his language at his school in the samurai country.

“This sounds interesting. Livejournal,huh. I wonder what this page is all about.”

After twenty minutes of browsing the said website, Keito suddenly blushed.

“I..I never thought that someone will write stuffs like these. Me and Yuto…what the hell are they thinking”

“But-hey. I’m in high spirits whenever Yuto’s with me. So let them be.”

Keito closed his laptop with a wide smile in his face.
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Knowing I'm depressed and all, thanks to my bestfriends and to my cousin who talked to me and gave me simple yet lovable advices.
To my cousin, you know who you are... I seriously want to thank you for the things you've done to me. I feel grateful that even you're far away from me, you made me feel better than ever.

To my friends, I knew I'd been such a bad friend. Though, you guys respected my decisions I've made. Even though our beliefs are contradicting most of the time, you guys still stayed with me during rough times. I'm not good at showing my emotions and gratitude in front of you, but I'm really really grateful to you guys. High school life would be very dull without you.

And to my OL friends, my fandom.. I love you guys! Even though you don't know me, and just met in the ever-wonderful internet world, I'd just love you all. After I graduate in college, I srsly want to meet you guys.
To my fandom, thanks to Hey!Say!JUMP for making me laugh and smile even during the rough times.

To God, I know I've been a bad kid. But I still feel your presence every millisecond of my life. Thank you:))
I promise I won't give up. Not now.
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It seems like everything is back to normal after my rebellious phase that happened
last year but, hell no, i feel like I want to slam someone's head to the wall.
I've been skipping classes for the nth time already. And I feel satisfied doing that.
I'd been coming home late because I want to. I don't pass my school requirements, I don't study at all and seriously, I sleep a lot in front of my teachers while they're being talkative in class. And I want to throw daggers at my classmates and pluck their eyes out because they ARE REALLY REALLY ANNOYING AND LOUD.
Everywhere I go, I can't seem to find a quiet time wherein I can relax my mind. I guess coffee shops and le library are the best options. BUT SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING IS BECOMING ANNOYING LATELY.
Someone give me a flight ticket to Mars and live a life there. I don't freakin' care if aliens exist. Damn. I dunno what to do anymore. Going to skip class until the end of the week and regain myself again somewhere.

PS.: I'm getting better at Midnight Maximum Tune.When I got 18, I will get my own license and drive.
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Our teacher asked us, the whole fourth year level to watch
that certain performance of our batch mates for their upcoming
competition. I'm not really interested in those
stuffs so, once again, I used my own ninja moves.
When they got to the auditorium, I went outside then I took my bag
inside my classroom and ran away. XD
In short, its like cutting classes. I don't care though if I got scolded by that.

Cram

Jan. 8th, 2012 09:38 am
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Three months to go and good-bye high school life.
High school life, they say is the most memorable happening in one's life.
Just to recall my memory...
Ever since I entered high school, I went berserk.. just kidding.
I did a lot of stuffs, sleeping during classes, using my phone, eating inside the classroom which is a big no-no, doodling my teacher's expressions and a lot of stupid stuffs.
Now, I'm a graduating student and I'm still a slacker.
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I decided to make another journal for my life-related ranting and the likes. XD
My livejournal account (same username, btw) will be used for fandom sake from now on. :))

Writing, for me is like a medicine. I'm quite sensitive with noisy environment, so I get irritated easily. That's why at school, I rather sleep than to talk to someone else.
Though, sometimes I prefer writing fics, stories, songs, or whatever it might be.
It usually makes me calmer, I don't know why but it feels like that. XD
And no, I'm not an anti-social kid.


Feel free to add me if you want. :D
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